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Archive for the 'mommyhood' Category

A letter to Target

Re: Red Card

Dear Target,

If you really want to help schools, just do it. Don’t make it conditional on whether I sign up for your marketing program (so you can track my purchases). Don’t make it conditional on how much I spend in your store. In fact, don’t make it conditional on me shopping at your store at all.

Just help the schools.

Then have your PR team promote the heck out of your good deeds. Good PR can go a long way, much farther than bribery or blackmail.

Sincerely,
catbird*

*Yes, I really sent this letter to Target, but signed with my name.

A NOTE: Target does other things to help schools that aren’t conditional on people buying stuff.

Box Tops for Education is ridiculous

At least once a week, my son comes home from school asking me to collect Box Tops for Education. At his school, the class that collects the most gets an ice cream party. Are schools that desperate for additional funds?

Seriously, if companies want to give money to schools, they should just do it. Not blackmail us into buying their heavily processed food products first before they will donate $.10 per box top to a school.

What’s the point of trying to get healthier foods and more fruits/veggies in schools if at home were encouraged (or bribed with ice cream parties) to feed kids processed food to get these box top things.

I repeat: if companies want to give money to schools, they should just do it.

As long as we have public schools, they should properly funded so that we don’t have to supplement with ridiculous programs like this one.

Hey Dora, leave my kids alone… part 2

In some cosmic coincidence, on the same day I found out about Disney eggs, I also had to go to the grocery store to get a snack to take to Nate’s school tomorrow. Maybe it was because I had just read about Disney’s new venture into farming, but it suddenly seemed licensed cartoon characters were everywhere.

So there we are, in the dairy aisle of Shop-Rite, looking for some sort of yogurt to feed 11 five-year-olds. No Stonyfield Farms Squeezers. All the other tube yogurts had high fructose corn syrup and corn starch, which, I patiently explained to Nate, is icky and doesn’t belong in yogurt (and yes, I am certain the other shoppers were rolling their eyes). But Nate wasn’t listening….

He picked up Dora smoothies. Then Danimals smoothies. Then Trix yogurt. Then Scooby-Doo yogurt. Our usual Stonyfield yogurt in containers was right there, but Nate was blinded by cartoon marketing. When I nixed all his choices, he moved on to the Scooby-Doo cheddar cheese snacks, which, I’ll admit, we purchased.

Blurring the line between entertainment and food has several implications:

Children get the idea that they need to have their own special food

Media conglomerates have infiltrated virtually every aisle of the supermarket with the intent of marketing products directly to children and to parents who start to believe that they need special “kids food” for their children.

Do we? Not really.

Virtually any product you would buy with a character on it can be purchased in a regular version. Do cartoon characters entice children to eat certain foods? I don’t know. But I do know that kids don’t need to be enticed into eating yogurt, mac and cheese, crackers, cookies, juice, etc.

The imagination monopoly these characters have on our children is perpetuated

Cartoon characters such as Dora, Diego, or any Disney princess appear on any product you could want to purchase: clothes, bedding, toys, video games, books, toothbrushes, furniture, shampoo…. Maybe mealtime is a good place to give kids a break from the media marketing storm.

Our children’s health is impacted through over-processed and additive-filled foods

Take a look at what the “kid’s food” usually is: snacks, treats, yogurt-like products, highly-processed heat-and-eat food.

Of course, now Disney is taking it one step further with their Disney Eggs. I can’t imagine what a Disney Farm is like, but free-range, grass-fed, and organic are not ideals that come to mind. One more giant factory farm feeding chickens corn grown with petroleum-based pesticides. Just what we need. However, I digress. The point is that children don’t need eggs wrapped in Disney packaging and stamped with Disney characters, and cooked in the shape of Mickey Mouse. And as parents, we don’t need to spend the extra money to purchase these eggs. If you have extra money in your budget for eggs, make it free-range, organically fed eggs from a local farm. Please.

Our wallets are hit: branded products and “kid’s” products cost more

Compare the cost of kids yogurt to buying a big tub of yogurt and dishing it out into a bowl (or reusable container for school lunches). (Plus there is the added benefit of less waste.)

Many kids products come in a smaller size but cost the same or more as the regular version. Check out kids yogurt or smoothies or boxes of crackers or cookies for example.

Buying a “kids” version and an “adult” version of the same food just adds additional cost to your food bill.

While it would make life easier if licensed characters didn’t show up on food marketed to kids, I don’t see it happening. And, quite frankly, there are bigger issues with the food system that should be resolved first. But I do agree with Marion Nestle: “If food is nourishing and well prepared, it is entertainment enough and doesn’t need cartoons to entice kids to eat.” She calls for a boycott of food with cartoon characters which, today’s Scooby-Doo cheese purchase aside, I plan to wholeheartedly support.

As parents, we should all strive to feed our children and ourselves the most nutritious food we can. That means food, not “food.” If we take the time to read the ingredients of the food we buy, and, in fact, buy more ingredients to make our own food, we can make the best choices possible.

And even though it can be incredibly difficult to say no to a child clamoring for SpongeBob mac and cheese, Dora smoothies, or, yes, Scooby-Doo cheese snacks, we should fight the battle. While I fully believe it’s okay to say yes to a treat now and then, in daily life we would all be better off taking back control over our food.

Hey Dora, leave my kids alone.

More parenting videos on JuiceBoxJungle

I’m so tired of obnoxious cartoon children breaking the fourth wall to ask my kids questions as a weak attempt at educational television. Do any kids answer? Can TV zombies even talk?

Saying my kids can only watch educational TV is like saying I only let my kids eat organic potato chips.

I don’t expect my kids to learn from TV. TV is not (despite what Noggin wants us to believe) preschool. I don’t think shows have to teach my kids anything. In fact, I think there is something nice about a show that doesn’t teach anything or have any message.

This Juicebox Jungle clip talks a lot about the TV vs. no TV debate, but really, how could I deny my kids TV? I enjoy it and to tell them they can’t watch it but I can wouldn’t be right. It would be like telling them they can’t have sweets while I eat a bowl of ice cream.

In fact, non-educational TV has provided lots of great discussion starting points for me and my children. Josie and the Pussycats: don’t be mean to your friends. Commercials: don’t believe everything you see on TV. Scooby-Doo: being brave can mean doing something you’re scared to do. Tom and Jerry: well, nothing, but it does crack them up. I don’t expect my kids to learn from these shows (that’s what family and school are for), but those are some good life lessons.

What, when, how much? That’s a personal decision for each parent. But let’s not delude ourselves here. TV is entertainment.

And to paraphrase Cookie Monster: TV is a sometimes food.

Where the Wild Things Are… the movie

Where the Wild Things Are

Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak is a sweet and wonderful story — one of my favorites — but does it really need to be made into a movie?

In the book, a boy gets in trouble and thinks his parents don’t love him anymore. After an imaginary trip to live with the other wild things, he gets lonely, and returns home to find his warm supper waiting in his room. His parents do still love him after all.

With Sendak’s charming illustrations, this story is truly a childhood classic. The message resonates with every child: even if you get in trouble, your parents still love you.

Why turn it into a feature-length movie about a boy dealing with “absent father issues“?

Hollywood, are you that hard up for new ideas?

The Mind of a Preschooler

Some common developmental milestones of preschool-aged children.

Fine Motor Skills
1. Learn how to open cookie tin.
2. Sneak cookie tin behind sofa and eat all the cookies.
3. Use “time out” to plot next move.
4. Teach younger sibling how to open cookie tin.

Gross Motor Skills
1. Learn to climb.
2. Use climbing skills to climb onto counter to get cookie tin
3. See “Fine Motor Skills” above.

1. Learn to hit plastic baseball off a tee.
2. Use plastic bat to hit sibling.

Personal Grooming
1. Learn to dress self.
2. Obsess over one particular shirt or pair of socks and wear it every day.
3. Take two more years to learn how to match.

1. Learn to use potty.
2. Decide you don’t feel like using potty.

1. Learn to spit out “big kid” toothpaste.
2. Practice your spitting all around the house.

Outside Play
1. Learn how to twist outside faucet on.
2. Spray hose into all open windows.
3. Give sibling a turn just before parent appears.

1. Learn to jump.
2. Find giant mud puddle.
3. Jump repeatedly into mud puddle until you are covered with mud. Make sure you are wearing white.

Writing
1. Learn to write name.
2. Write name on every available surface including tables and walls.

Five shallow holes

Yesterday I sat on the grassy hump in front of my mother’s gravestone and dug out five shallow holes in the fertile earth in which to set five small flower pots. Nestling the pots in protects them from the wind and gives the roots access to moist dirt when I can’t get back to water them.

While I scraped out holes with a wire hanger from the back of the car, little ants and beetles kept crawling up and down my legs. I was very gentle in removing them from me, for, after all, aren’t they my brothers and sisters, nourished on my mother’s flesh and bones?

Later, driving home, one little ant came crawling up my arm. Reacting without thinking, I brushed her off roughly. I’m sorry, my little sister! I hope you found a stray pretzel or goldfish on the floor to make up for it.

Games kids play

All kids make up their own fun games to play. I know my kids have invented some really fabulous ones. Maybe your kids have played them, too.

Lock the Door
Use the key to lock and unlock the door repetitively. Stand on a chair if you can’t reach. Advanced version: wait until Mommy goes outside to lock the door.

Goldfish Crush
Smash goldfish into tiny crumbs then swipe them onto the floor. See how long it takes for Mommy to notice. Also works with pretzels, graham crackers, saltines, or even Playdough.

Phone Tag
As soon as you hear Mommy on the phone, run around like a maniac yelling at the top of your voice.

Water Splash
This is a competitive game. See who can splash the most water out of the bath tub. Game ends when water drips into kitchen. Bonus points for soaking Mommy.

Water Splatter
Pour water (or any other handy liquid — milk, juice, paint) onto the table and pat enthusiastically with your hands until you and the walls are well splattered. Bonus points for using a smelly, sticky, or permanent liquid. Fun to play with Goldfish Crush.

Collapse
Lure a sibling into the pillow fort while you are outside then collapse it. Advanced level: lay on top of pillows covering sibling until crying starts. Bonus points for making Mommy come running.

The top 10 craziest things I’ve said as a parent, so far…

1. “Nate, stop licking your brother.”
2. “Only one serving of chocolate chips at breakfast.”
3. “Stop blowing bubbles with your mucus.”
4. “Nate, stop licking the train seat.”
5. “Take the magic marker out of your ear.”
6. “Van, get your mouth off the guinea pig cage.”
7. “No spitting on the furniture.”
8. “Nate, stop licking the dog.”
9. “Please don’t drink the water from the mud puddle.”
and
10. “Really Van, you want the kale, potato, and chorizo soup?”

Van in a pot Nate puts the lid on good brothers shake the pot

Leftover mac and cheese

When Nate gets to pick dinner, he almost always picks mac and cheese. But ,since the kids rarely eat a whole box and they won’t eat it reheated (Why? Who knows. It’s just one of those parenting mysteries.), I’m stuck with leftovers.

I don’t love mac and cheese, but I dislike wasting food even more so I concocted this meal out of the leftovers. I cook spinach, broccoli, or peas in a pan with a little olive oil and garlic. Then toss in the leftover mac and cheese. Today I had some turkey to toss in, too. Except for the fact that the mac and cheese is in the shape of little bunnies, it’s just like a grown up meal. If you don’t feel like going to all that trouble, just throw the leftover pasta in with regular pasta and red sauce. The cheese adds some nice flavor to a basic tomato sauce.

Go bananas for these cookies

My new go-to cookie recipe is this banana cookie one that Steve sent to me. What an easy and super delicious way to use up our ripe bananas!

Pancakes, pancakes, more pancakes

img_0184.JPG

I’ve added a new twist to my pancake repertoire. Instead of just adding finely shredded zucchini, I’ve been mixing it up with carrots and pumpkin pie spice. I shred carrots and zucchini (or sometimes apple) into vanilla yogurt and blend (using my hand blender). Then I add it to the dry ingredients along with one egg. In addition to the cinnamon in the dry ingredients, I add a bit of pumpkin pie spice. Not too much, maybe half a teaspoon. The pancakes come out a nice orangey color and taste very similar to pumpkin pancakes.

Nate and Van think they are yummy.

Mural painting

Art class last week was Diego Rivera and murals. Nate, Van, and Nate’s friend Delia painted a three part mural on our walls. Well, on paper on the walls (I’m not completely crazy, yet.)
1.jpg

There are three rules to mural painting in our house:
1. Share the paints
2. Only paint on the paper
3. Have fun
Van forgot rule #2 and painted a whole fourth segment on the wall. Later, he also painted himself.
2.jpg

What a great collaborative painting! Plus it covers the plaster patching that we haven’t painted yet from where Nate’s head cracked the wall.
4.jpg

Pancakes for dinner

Everyone in the house loves pancakes. Really, who doesn’t? I like to make them as nutritious as possible so I can serve them for dinner. Here’s my current favorite recipe. I don’t measure spices, though. Which makes life pretty exciting around the Hatch household at meal time.

2 cups flour
2 tsp baking powder
salt (not too much)
cinnamon (enough to make the dry ingredients a nice cinnamon-y color)
bran (optional)
zucchini or yellow squash shredded really fine (how much, you ask? ha ha ha.)
2 eggs (or two egg-sized globs of vanilla yogurt)
2 cups milk

Stir up the dry ingredients, then add the wet ingredients. Stir until just blended then let sit for a few minutes. The kids like syrup, but I prefer yummy homemade pear sauce. Super easy, too. Before starting the pancakes, just peel and chop some pears, toss them in a pot with some water and cinnamon, and simmer until the pancakes are all cooked. As Nate would say, delish.

This recipe is both sneaky and deceptively delicious. No one sue me.

The Feast of the Two Fishes

I’m not ambitious enough to try all seven; two is more my speed. And one came straight from a can.

The menu: baccala, stuffed artichokes, poor man’s pizza, pasta with primavera sauce, meatballs, antipasta with carrots, celery, olives, bread, anchovies, roasted peppers, and cheese. For dessert, fruit bowl and cookie tray. Apparently I can’t cook for four so we have been eating leftovers all week.

The schedule: (I forgot to include “soak the cod” and almost blew the baccala):

11:00 prep and soak artichokes

11:30 make pizza dough
pizza dough

11:45 cook cod (~30 min.)
cod

11:50 stuff artichokes
artichokes

12:15 cook artichokes (2.5 hours)
lunch[Nate sprinkled his own yogurt for lunch]

12:30 make baccala
baccala

12:40 – 2:30 random tasks: cookie tray, fruit bowl, set table, make antipasta
cookie tray[Nate made the cookie tray]

2:45 artichokes out of oven
artichokes cooked

2:50 sauce on, pasta water on

3:00 cook pizzas (20 min. each)
pizza

3:30 cook pasta

4:00 eat! (Okay, we really ate around 4:30, but I was close.)
table

Van eating pizza[Van loved the pizza] thumbs up [Nate gave the feast the thumbs up]

The top ten reasons I think my kids have eaten too many Christmas cookies

Van
Nate

1. Cookie negotiations start at dawn.

2. Could Van’s bout of insomnia have been anything else but sugar o.d.?

3. Two words: cookie smugglers.

4. Nate thinks if the cookie has raisins, it’s growing food.

5. Van learned how to climb up on the dining room chairs. His motivation: the cookie tray.

6. Part of every day is spent spinning in circles.

7. Van had green sugar hands for an entire day.

8. I thought it was separation anxiety, but it turned out Van just wanted another cookie.

9. My sofa is smeared with chocolate.

10. “Mommy, that gingerbread man is asking me to eat him.”

Nate Wraps

Last weekend, Nate wrapped gifts for his friends. With kids, I don’t believe there is such a thing as waste when it comes to art supplies, which is why I don’t even flinch when Nate uses gobs of glue and two foot pieces of tape. We’re always rewarded with fabulous and creative creations. This project was no exception. I don’t believe anyone has ever received such uniquely wrapped gifts:

Two presents two presents and Nate

Oh, and by the way, Noggin…

Your “It’s like preschool on TV” tagline is ridiculous. Passive TV watching, even with “educational” segments, is nothing like preschool. At preschool, kids run around, play, imagine, interact, and learn by doing, not stare at a screen that tells them what a hexagon is. Just because you say it, doesn’t make it true.

And what’s up with that mom in the voice over saying “He just learns better when he’s with his best friends”? Is she really saying that Moose A. Moose is her kid’s best friend? Because that’s just wrong.

What’s up with all the Noggin propaganda?

At Thanksgiving, Moose A. Moose showed us the Turkey factory farm, then yesterday, he introduced a segment about a chicken farm with a barn the size of two football fields and and farmer happily shoveling sawdust for the “special delivery” of thousands of chicks. I turned off each segment before they could describe the “happy” life these birds will have, living inside, over crowded and never seeing sun or feeling grass under their feet for the few weeks they have to live.

Hey Noggin, what’s up with that?

When it comes to cookie dough, ignorance is bliss

When I was little, Mom always let me lick the beaters and taste the cookie dough. (Not to mention all the raw pasta dough I ate.) Yum! When I make cookies with my kids, they never get a taste of anything with raw eggs in it. Oh the delights they are missing out on! The sugar cookie dough that tastes like solid, crunchy vanilla ice cream; the chocolaty brownie batter; the sweet chocolate chip cookie dough the, well, doughy pasta dough…. In this case, ignorance (of salmonella) really would be bliss.

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