It’s true. I’m addicted. I update my status at least once a day. I obsessively read friends’ status updates. In the evening, I often leave my computer tuned to “Live Feed” so I can keep up with people while I watch TV. And, it’s true, I have lost hours of my life looking at photos of people I don’t know at parties I wasn’t invited to.
I’m also out there pushing for the Facebook kingpin. “Just do it. Everyone is on there. You’re not cool unless you’re on Facebook.” Okay, maybe not that last one. Maybe.
Being addicted to Facebook isn’t just about the time you spend online. It’s also about how active you are. Some say that Facebook makes people a little too uninhibited and prone to oversharing. Well, okay, maybe that’s true. But I say if you don’t want to know what I’m doing every moment of the day, select “less about Cat” in your feed settings. If you don’t want to know 25 random things about me, don’t read my notes. If you don’t want me to comment on photos of your family, use friend lists. And if you aren’t truly interested in connecting with me, well, don’t friend me in the first place.
The problem, as I see it, isn’t that people overshare, it’s that people don’t know they are oversharing. I’ve read enough private conversations posted on public walls to know that people don’t know I can read their private conversations posted on their public walls. Just like that sloppy drunk at the office Christmas party who thinks everyone wants to see his Xeroxed butt, people on Facebook often forget that some things are best kept private.
If you do nothing else to manage your FB addiction, do this:
1. Use friend lists. Does your old co-worker care about your photos from high school? Probably not.
2. Set your application settings. Are you sure you really want all your friends to know how often you play Scramble? I didn’t think so.
3. Change your photo tag settings. Because, really, just because someone has an incriminating photo of you shouldn’t mean they can tell all your friends about it.
Most importantly, if it’s not in a private message, it means you don’t mind if anyone else reads it.
There is an upside to my addiction, though. As a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM? Some acronyms just weren’t meant to be), Facebook is like my happy hour hangout where I can commiserate with other moms, chat with friends, and yes, when I log on, everybody knows my name.
It hasn’t decreased my real-life socializing, since I wouldn’t otherwise be out with friends. It has, however, given me a low bandwidth way to keep in touch with old friends, continue conversations with current real-life friends, chat with family members I rarely get to see in person, and reconnect with friends that I truly wish I had never lost touch with in the first place. Rather than make me more isolated, it has actually made me more social.
As anyone who has ever celebrated their 21st birthday with a pitcher of red death knows (I won’t name any names), self-control is very, very important. But anyone who has ever gone to happy hour with friends knows a little socializing is good for the soul. I figure, as long as I remember to log off now and then, this is one addiction I’ll keep.
catbird :: Feb.07.2009 ::
socio-pop, technology ::
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